A letter to 30-years-old me

Hello future me!

How are you? I hope you are doing fine and in the pink of health. In case you are confused, I am the 17 years old you who still wear a large square-framed glasses with some Hello Kitty stickers on it. I could not stop hoping that you will not be wearing this in the future. Anyway, it feels funny writing to you but realizing that we are having 20 years age gap, I know we are not having a common feel about this. Don’t be scared, okay. This is just me.

I am writing this letter to convey some of my hopes for our lifetime achievements. I was thinking of keeping this matter to myself but I reckoned that it would work out better in a team work. Therefore, I choose you as my partner to accomplish great things in our life and make the sixty years old us proud and happy as she goes down the memory lane. I just could not wait to set the ball rolling!

Gruelling and eye-opening life I have up to this age taught me that we should not be self-centred upon planning our dreams. We ought to share it with our family, friends and the society because they deserve it. I hope you are still holding on to this mentality. With this in mind, I hope we will involve in more voluntary works and charity movements so we could ease the burden laid on the shoulders of the people in need. In the meantime, I hope we will elevate to higher pace by helping needy people in other countries too. We surely could kill two birds with one stone because we are able to travel to many countries in the world. We will learn new languages and cultures besides sharing good times together with less fortunate people.

Apart from that, I hope we grow up living our dreams to be a successful surgeon. Despite having intense competition and narrow opportunities, I hope we will get through it and gain the scholarship to further our medical study. Remember how tiring it was to maintain good grades in every examination? How about the sleepless nights we had just to make sure we could finish our revision on time? And do you remember how many days we have to bear having a dark spot under our eyes? I just hope they will soon be reimbursed with a roll of certificate in our hands. Anyway, if we made it, we should work at the National Heart Institute of Malaysia so we could help to treat people with heart problems. By working there, I consider it as a blessing in disguise because besides meeting a lot of optimistic patients with a strong heart, we are capable of putting smiles on their faces and build up a wall of hope for them. It would be the greatest satisfaction of all time.

As for our social goals, I hope we still befriend Julie and Marzia because they are very fun to hang around with. Julie who is always cheerful and talkative, makes the atmosphere alive with funny jokes and endless laughter. On the other hand, Marzia who seems to be a lot more timid and shy has always been a good listener and the wisest one. The presence of these two people paint colourful rainbow in our life. I hope this friendship would last until we age and become old.

I also hope that we will have a great teamwork with Marzia and Julie in the national water polo team. Although we joined the team a little bit later than them, I hope we could cope faster and be among the best. Therefore, there will be no impossible that our team are going to be the greatest with the will of the intelligent trio. Hence, we should work harder with other teammates in order to be qualified for the international water polo game.

As for our personal achievements, I hope we will work out for a jaw-dropping beautiful body like our favourite idol, Jennifer Lawrence. We should eat healthily and have a balanced lifestyle to accomplish the goal. With that fit body, it is a bonus point for us to make another goal becomes reality which is to set new national record for longest distance sea swimming. I realized that this quest is nearly impossible and not a bed of roses unless we put our effort for an extra miles and enjoy doing it. Our family would be proud if we could make it.

Apart from that, I hope we could develop into a better writer from time to time. We should read more and practice writing as much as we could as writing is like doing art between blank spaces on a piece of paper. The beautiful thing about writing is when we are able to express every hopes and feeling that is bottled up in our hearts, just like how I feel when writing this letter to you.

Dearest future me,

I would end this letter telling you that you are most capable for anything you want in life. You are the king of your soul. Time will run and we would grow old but we should always live up our hopes so we can be proud of our lifetime achievements. I strongly believe that we could get through any obstacle and all we need to do is to take time to embrace every moment in our life. You are probably in your 30s by now and I wonder how much have you discovered in life. Anywhere you are right now, I shall give a piece of tender advice that ‘life is a journey and not a race so enjoy every second of it with your whole heart’.

                                                                                         

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Sincerely,

Syahirah Omar

What social medias are to me?

Facebook, twitter, instagram, snapchat are the kind of social medias that I'm always down to. I always feel like they're like an ocean and we are the sea swimmers, floating in the middle of it and the seashore seems very very far away, almost out of sight. When we're lucky, we'll be swimming to the right direction following the high tides while enjoying the sun, the natural view and the chilly splashes. Sometimes, there are high chances that sharks would come and attack us or there is a sudden thunderstorm that makes the wave turns monstrous. We are either survivors or victims in this wide ocean that exist within a single click of 'login' on our 5.7 inches phone's screen.

I'm not sure if you get the message from that analogy but I get it if you don't because I'm the most terrible at making one😂.

Here, we have social medias in which the users are humans (or a computer-generated robots?) with different backgrounds and mentalities, mixed together in one place. No one could actually indicate their purpose of being there at the first place so if we're in control of however we use the social medias, then we'll get good benefits out of it (altho there's a low chance to get to that). But if we're unable to take control or to get prepared with whatever that comes up on the timeline, we're very very closed to get doomed (by mean, got distracted and to the extent of being depressed, if u get what I mean).

It's all about how well you use this social networks.

Twitter can be a great platform to get connected with friends, a perfect place to give opinions about an issue and get feedbacks from other people with the same or varying thinkings and probably the site you'll go to when you have an ample of unproductive time to spent in real life. You'll be exposed on how diverse and unique other people's mentalities are due to different cultures and educational background. Twitter however, has its own fractions of input on which some are educational and inspirational while the other fractions consist of silly arguments over something very very petty, or something very very sensitive and I called it liberal fraction. There's also a large fraction of zero purpose inputs, where teenagers share relatable funny jokes and judging others' ignorant actions. I personally think that twitter is detrimental when it comes to corrupting minds about one-sided and false informations apart of taking much of my time.

Instagram is the perfect place for a visually stimulated person as there are a lot of pictures and short videos to watch. We'll get up-to-date with what our friends, families or our favourite celebrities are up to besides able to keep up with the latest fashion updates. I think instagram is great but not when it instills a mainstream idea of living life and having a certain beauty standards, creating a narcissistic nation or a group of people with inferiority complex. This problem is not significant but trust me, it exists and everyone needs to constantly reminding themselves that they're worth it and beautiful in their own way.

I'm not sure why I used snapchat at the first place haha but it's fun to have some weird filters especially the flower crown on your face or head. Snapchat is more casual and outgoing and I get to see LIVE what my friends or my favourite celebrities are doing. it's only time-consuming if you follow many people so there'll be more stories to watch.

This time around, I am going to see how much my life would change without access to social medias. The result wouldnt' be much surprising because I've experienced living without them when I was in MOZAC(boarding school where phones and wifi are restricted).

I'll be signing out my twitter, instagram and snapchat account within these few weeks, hoping that I find something else more interesting and productive to do (e.g reading or writing short stories hmm🤔).

They say, 'you'll notice more about what's there in life when you raise your head from your phone and start seeing the world'.

We'll see about that. Till then !

I got 9A+ !

Hey there.

I know that the spm result was announced 3 months ago and you shall say that I'm a bit left behind for still being excited and giddy about getting 9 A+. I know that the spm results are irrelevent by now as this is a starting season of university enrollment and the discoveries to something more tremendous and ever mind-blowing (lol my exaggeration ==').

Anyway, yayyyy!!!! I made it! I don't think I've applauded myself enough for this achievement so this time on this post, I'm writing a long-ass words about what I feel. To be exact, my feelings which I never really could express to anyone or anything except myself.
*patting my back
*whispers 'there you go girl' 😌
Hahahaha

I remember those 2 years of hellish and hectic moments when I have to push myself so hard to prepare myself for spm. I was not a person who pick up informations quickly, let alone a genius. In fact, I was an average speed learner with terrible capability to stay energized and cheerful. Oh did I mentioned how NOT a morning person I am? Every weekdays when there were classes to attend, I woke up and went to school without taking a bath (I don't see any problem with that) just to continue sleeping at my table. Imagine carrying that sleepy face to school and impolitely immerse my head on the table until the first period started. To me, that was unacceptable but to me, the back-in-the-day-one, that was a routine.

Even so, I never sleep during lectures and I am a person who takes note and make practices to reduce my sleepiness. Chemistry and biology classes needed me to do that because most of the time, my teachers will explain on the topics using the slideshow with pictures as the stimulus. They explain and we listen. To differ, maths and add maths classes were more interesting as there were more heads-on and hands-on. We listen as we do the calculations. My way to reduce the sleepiness was to act like I was in quiz competition which I have to get the answer first before anyone else does. I knew I annoyed a lot of my friends at that time but I just had to!

To be honest, those 2 years were undeniably challenging but I enjoyed doing it and I don't mind doing it as long as the time could run. I enjoyed the time me and my friends imagined our futures as someone who we wish to be, comparing grades and having conflicts on certain things but then reconciled and move on. However, I don't really enjoyed having eye bags after a few rounds of staying up late at nights to buy extra study times and the feeling when I can't longer move any part of my body due to mild fatigueness when the clock striked 5 pm.
It was the good and the bad ol' day but I will always cherish it and be proud for getting through it.

When I got 9A+, I'd totally forgotten what I felt back in the day. I just feel like everything has fallen to its pieces and I was just too happy. My parents were happy and my sister was speechless while my brother was.... clueless? I love to make them proud of me and there's not much of things that I could do to make that happen except my academic results.

Having 9A+ however, did not change my life entirely. I didn't become a doctor or owning a big house or fancy car upon getting that kind of result. Through the eyes of the world, I still have to participate in this worldly competition and strike for the best spot.

Nevertheless, my result has become a ticket for me to try new things and to get access to numerous prestigious scholarship interviews. I've been to kijang emas, khazanah, petronas, yayasan peneraju and jpamara interview to convince them that I deserve the scholarship. One thing I learnt is, your spm result doesn't matter anymore once you've been called for the interview. On the day of the assessment, everyone is considered the same despite the pattern of their spm results. What matters most at that time is our communication skills and intelligence.

Many of my straight A+ friends did not manage to land on the scholarship that offers the courses that they wanted but thankfully, they have the bursary as a back up. 

I think the art of winning big is to be very very hardworking and humble for Allah does not count someone's achievements but their efforts.
Allah yuftah alaikum.
I hope we will be strong enough to endure days in our life towards achieving our goal in life and in akhirat, bold enough to try something new and grateful enough to share our good and bad stories to our beloved ones.

May today, tomorrow and yesterday pass by with barakah. Amiin. 

Petronas scholarship interview

A few weeks ago, I was called to sit for the assessment on the Petronas Youngstars Day in which I applied for mechanical engineering to oversea as my first choice. I stated before that I wanted to do medicine but in this case, engineering is my second option and interview like this will give me more exposure besides getting to meet new friends. Ok so I'm dragging things right now haih

Last week, I received the result and I was offered the scholarship to do Ausmat at Taylors College and degree in New Zealand. So in this entry, I will share my experience during the interview.

I reached Kolej Damansara Utama, the place which the assessment will take place at 7.00 am. My parents were asked to go for a briefing about the scholarship while the candidates were told to wait in a hall. While waiting, I met my PKTR friends and chatted about everything so actually, I was less nervous at that time. Then, we registered at the counter by submitting our original and CTC documents. 

For those with incomplete documents, they had to wait to settle something with the officers while the others including me went back to our seat for the briefing session. Basically, we are going through two kind of assessments which are online assessment that consist of TSA and personality test. The other one is the group assessment. I was expecting a briefing about the scholarship or the bondage contract but apparently, that kind of details were briefed to our parents.

Ok, so the online assessment.

We were brought to KDU computer lab and started the test. Personality test was to measure yourself whether you are able to work as a team and whether you are a suitable kind of person to work for petronas, so the questions are somehow like ' I am an ambitious person' so you just have to choose 'most likely' or 'less likely'. Very simple hahaha

The thinking skills are quite challenging because the questions are given to see how do you come up with a calculation or a method to find the accurate answer. They were not SPM-kind of questions and you can answer any way you know as long as the answer is right. I cant remember of one question to give as an example. Sorryy!!

But overall, they were easy although there were some questions that I was unable to contemplate. Khazanah questions were much much tougher.

At noon, we had lunch and after that, the shortlisted names from the online assessment were announced. I think most of the candidates on that day succeeded for the group assessment.

For the group assessment, we were sort to groups consisting of five people and we were given a study case. This time, the topic was initiatives we would propose to make more people come to petronas petrol station and the Mesra mart. We were given 15 minutes to brainstorm individually, 5 minutes to voice out our personal proposal to our group and the rest 30 minutes to discuss with our group on the final proposal because only one idea will be taken. We tried to take all of the members' ideas under one bigger scope of idea but toleration was the key as well so some of the ideas were not accepted. 

Other than that, the revenue and the expenditure are discussed too besides the strategic place for the petrol station (maybe at cities or by the highway where there are many cars) 

Then, one of us had to present it to the assessors followed by q&a  and finished with the assessment! 

The assessment was quite simple compared to other interviews that I've been to. My mom told me that Petronas selection are based on academic result, coco achievements, TSA and personality test, group work performance and family background (income and social status). 

I am very happy for the offer but I'm still in great dilemma whether to accept the offer or to pursue medicine. Nevertheless, I'm hoping for the best in which I can contribute back to my parents and nation.

Petronas buddies🙌🏻

Kijang Emas Interview Experience

This month has been the most hectic one where there's scholarship applications to fill, interviews to attend and the fact that I still have to go for driving classes so I can get my driving licence immediately.

I'm actually super exhausted.

March begins with a call I received from JPN, a day before result announcement, saying that I got 9A+ for my SPM. I am indeed very grateful and overjoyed. Alhamdulillah. The days after that follow with scholarship hunting and one of the scholarship I applied for is Kijang Emas Bank Negara scholarship.

So for today's entry, I'll be sharing my experience during the whole assessment, starting from day 1.

DAY 1

I checked in to Lanai Kijang in KL wih my family accompanying me. The place was very nice and there's good food provided there so I suggest not to skip any meals (because I did and I regret it😭). I got a room facing the pool with my roommate, Aqilah who's from Kedah. There's ironing facilities and strong wifi connection in the room as well. Basically, the first day was kind of all leisure and friendly which we had a lot of time to mingle around and be comfortable. All other candidates were very nice and I met some of my AYTR friends too! 

After dinner, we were briefed on some policies regarding Kijang scholarship and Kijang Emas scholarship. Kijang scholarship offers a specified courses and there is a bondage to work under Bank Negara depending on the number of your study years. Let's say your study period is 4 years, then 4x2=8 years of working under BNM. For Kijang Emas sch which I applied for, there is no bondage and we are allowed to choose any desired course and place to study. I applied for medicine course at Newcastle University, UK. After the briefing, we were sort into groups and were told to work on group cheers. My group was Kijang Emas 2 consisting of 7 people including me, Asyiqin, Swaathi, Ng, Iman, Ali and Zafran. 

DAY 2

This whole day was an assessment based on groupwork. There were 4 sessions and teamworking between us in KE2 was the major key to seize the day. Oh and there were 3 assessors in the room watching us while we were doing our task. The first session was a study case. 

Basically, we have to plan on how to improvise Encik Ali's bookstore based on some of the problems listed. There were roles like Project Management, Finance and Accounting, Change Management and Inventory Management. Me and Asyiqin were the change management so we presented on different initiatives we could work on while cooperating with the finance department as the allocation given was only 20 000. 

Second session was a study case too and a bit tougher than the previous one because it was more practical. We have to plan a convocation carnival which we have to show the layout and carried out some calculations to find the profit margin. It was a good exposure to me, anyways.

After that, we had lunch with assessors from other group which we were advised not to be too quiet.

The reason to that is to give a good impression to other assessors as they are going to judge ourselves as well.

During the third session, all the Kijang Emas groups are gathered in the same assessment hall. We were told to sort ourselves based on our desired courses as we were going to make a presentation, promoting our courses to the assessors. Being in the medicine group, I got to work with candidates from other groups but I suited myself real quick that time (prolly bcoz we have the same interest haha).

For the last session, we had to get back to our initial group. The task was to build two towers of 50 cm and 20 cm height, connecting each other. We were only given poker cards to work on that. Any form of it would be acceptable as long as they meet the height requirements and connected to each other.

That marked the end of the first day assessment and by the time our bus arrived to Sasana Kijang to fetch us back to Lanai Kijang, I was soooo exhausted and sleepy that I skipped my dinner for a short nap 😭😭. 

After dinner, we were going to find out who was going to the next stage and who will not. I dont know why but I was acting pessimistic on that night, having thoughts that I would not make it to the next stage and I even had my stuffs packed up! I was planning on having a tour around the hotel tomorrow or maybe hitting the gym before checking out kahkah. 

So Mdm Aireen announced some names which I was not mentioned in and they were instructed to wait outside of the hall. I was calm as I expected it earlier, clapping my hands for the names mentioned BUT THEN after the last name was announced and the hall door was closed shut, Mdm Aireen announced,

"Congratulations, you guys made it to the next stage! And kenapa korang tepuk tangan tadi?" 

I WAS DAMN SHOCK MAN! I took some time to digest the whole situation. I was happy but I was also like, damn it! Gotta face individual assessment tomorrow ughhhh. 😫😫

DAY 3 

Just like day 2, shortlisted candidates were brought by bus from lanai kijang to Sasana Kijang early in the morning. First thing we had to work on is individual presentation. There were 4 topics and we were asked to choose one to present using a mahjong paper with preparation time of 20 minutes. The presentation itself would be 10 minutes and followed by Q&As. My topic was the most selected one among the candidates which is 'Aptitude vs Attitude. Which is more important in the university.'

After the presentation, those 3 assessors (one is my group assessor while other 2 are assessors from other groups) gave some question from my presentation and proceed to interviewing me about my career option. The questions came out like this

🔅why are you interested in doing surgery and not research? Doing research will also contribute to the nation (Well, I told them that I want to be a cardiothoracic surgeon and I press on my desire to contribute to my nation, but they basically will throw questions and provocations based on what you tell them)

🔅Dengue disease has been around Malaysia for years but Malaysia Ministry of Health has not yet able to find the antidote to put the spread of this disease to an end. Why do you think so?

🔅Between a person who took care of their health but got infected with dengue fever, and a person who dont take care of their diet consumption,lifestyle which leads to cardiovascular diseases, which do u think requires extra attention from doctors for treatments.

🔅Do you think depression as a disease?

🔅If u were to be given Kijang scholarship for accounting, but not medicine, would you take it? (Because I put my second option as accounting).

🔅Do you have any questions for us? ( I asked if there is something that I can improve from myself)

Then I left the interview room with huge relief, knowing that I tried my best despite the iv being so intense.

Here's a pic of me at Sasana Kijang, a building made of glasses and looked very exclusive😙

Before heading back to Melaka, I went to Midvalley with other AYTRians by KTM and met some other AYTRians waiting for us there. Midvalley was damn crowded so we had to cancel our movie plan. We had a very good time catching up with each other at Carl's Jr instead. Ahh, it was really a stress relieving moment with inside jokes pulled by these guys 😂😂😂

10 Tips to Fit In

If you're a naturally awkward person and interacting with new people in a new environment becomes a struggle, don't feel bad coz we're definitely in the same boat, probably with other thousands of people out there. This time I'm going to come up with 10 tips to fit in a group of new people which I learnt from several experience and observations.

1. Smile and laugh.

By smiling, it automatically makes people think that you're friendly and approachable. You just have to smile to anyone that you bump into and don't forget to maintain eye contact. This way, especially if you're an introvert will make it easier when the other party decides to take the first step and say hello.

2. Expect various colour of humans.

When you finally able to join in the group, you'll be meeting different kind of person with different story and different way of telling. Sometimes, you'll be comfortable with funny, decent and humble person but don't get offended when a person suddenly speaks sarcasm with harsh words or probably shriek at you. They don't mean harm but they naturally speak that way.

3. Share common interest.

I've seen many of people become best friends because of common interest they have. Share your common interest, be it about songs, guilty pleasure or things you hate. Also, don't forget to be a good listener and voices out your opinion about what they love or hate so they can sense your attention and concern. At early stage, you have no choice but to fit in so even when their interest don't arouse you, pretend it does!

4. Don't feel intimidated.

You should try to make friend with every single person in the community. It's really important that you don't feel inferior to those who stand out more and have more knowledge or those who become famous instantly in the group. You should speak out too and try to talk about their stuff. Always remember that the inferiority that you feel is what they feel as well but they decided to ignore it. 

5. Play important niche.

Volunteer to any task that have to be done in the group so they will find you helpful and useful. There'll be more interactions and a stronger bond will be created when facing challenges together.

6. Come up with significant remarks on yourself.

You have to do something that will make them remember you. It could be a punchline or a pickupline you pulled or a talent you posses like beatboxing, rapping. This way, they'll remark you with what you did in the last 10 years to the day you're having  a reunion with them.

7. Avoid boring conversation.

I don't know why and since when but in our generation, serious conversations are considered boring conversations. We would much prefer a funny conversation compared to a serious one. However, don't get me wrong. Serious conversation is crucial but at certain appropriate timing. Also, don't hesitate to reply with sarcasm or punchlines to loose the tension between both parties as it will also make the conversation more interesting.

8. You don't have to impress.

To me, those who tried too hard to impress others to the measure that they tell about all their achievements really pisses me off. It's vital to just be yourself and stay as humble as you can. People loves humble person and they'll find you more attractive when they figure out your speciality themselves and then only, you can start telling them about it. It's also okay to share your flaws as no one is perfect and no one deserves to be judged. You should accept yourself and others as it is.

9. Know them better.

You have to know more than just their full name, perhaps about their family, friends and personal stories. This is the only way you can discover what is unrevealed behind those smiling faces and you can play your role as a friend. You have to do it right because they'll put their trust on you and treasure your presence.

 

10. Give compliment.

It's never wrong to tell someone that they're beautiful in their own way. Try complimenting someone about their smile or their attire and you'll see them smile for the rest of the day. That's the power of compliment in changing someone's feeling. Just remember that the more happiness you give, the more happiness you'll get. Give compliments!

That's all for this entry. I hope all the tips are interesting enough for you to apply so you can fit in well and be happy. Don't forget to smile! Coz you look beautiful with it😍