I acknowledge my feelings.

I acknowledge  my feelings. I’m not going to hide it anymore. I’m mad. I’m sad. I’m happy. At this age, I really don’t care the way I present myself to everyone else. I used to be crazy about wanting to be seen as strong and perfect, without flaws. But now, I acknowledge that I’m sad. I carry myself through the day with smiles and high enthusiasm WHILE being sad and I don’t think anything is wrong with that. That’s how I should live. Gone are the days that I compensate sadness with being bitter, egoistic and vengeful. I stopped trying hard to project my feelings to people so they would notice and sympathize and got my back. I stopped seeking for other people’s validation. If I fucked up, I fucked up. I’ll have no regrets and I’ll learn through it. I don’t pretend anymore. I acknowledge that I’m mad, confused, frustrated and lonely. But above all, I’m okay. I’m fine. I can carry myself and the weight around while doing my jobs. I have myself and The Almighty always got my back. I know that everything is going to get better as the time goes by, with changed of season and faces. Tonight, I’ll cry while burying my face on the sejadah. I’ll weep and I’ll hold no more. I’ll let all my sadness flow with the tears and I’ll tell Him and only Him, the solution giver. Then I’ll rise and continue about my goals. There’s no turning back and downfall era for me in acknowledging my feelings.