I may have not live long enough to know most parts of life. If I were to sit among older generation and have a little chat, there'll be a lot more of things that I don't understand about this life. Relationships, responsibilities, attitude, dreams and countless perspective of life and as we go deeper, it's astonishing to see how beautiful and challenging this short journey is. It's full of emotions and hope and unthinkable discoveries to more sides of life.
To me, life is a short moment that Allah give to breathe on his land, do good among creatures and to fulfill my obligations as a Muslim. It's quite general but I guess it'd be adequate enough to begin with in my quest to find my real identity and my purpose of life.
I thought I've seen enough. Definitely, I was wrong because for every breath that I take every morning and for every chance that Allah let me have for another day that I oftenly overlooked, I see more. I've seen how twisted life is when mothers are scared of their own children with fear of abandonment and oblivion, friends backstabbing each other as they let their ego take over, false accusations and one sided story that leads to unjustice and constant quarrels on social medias about sensitive issues about religion and racism. Everyone is trying to prove that they know everything and powerful enough to win every argument. Flame blazes wildly in our hearts, hot boiling blood rushes to all part of our bodies and we let the fire of arrogance, ego and ignorant win over us.
I am of no exception and if you're reading this, so are you.
We're in the dark for so long and at moment of realization like this - when we don't feel belonged as if something isn't right - we should make a turn from this path. Even if we have to do it for the thousandth times, we should carry on because if we want a change in people and places around us, it has to start from our own self, right?
In the spirit of self-improvement and to put this weak heart at peace so it could beat stronger, I'm making a pledge to change myself and this effort should be documented in my personal journal.
My vision ;
1. Fixing my relationship with my family, friends and teachers. ( for supports in times of struggle)
2. Do daily qiamullail and start reading on tafsir al-Quran. ( for spiritual strength )
3. Gym, cardio and balanced diet ( self-esteem and health )
4. Read more books and sudoku ! ( brain sharpness )
I'm putting myself ready for a #14dayschallenge and I'll see how much difference I could feel. InsyaAllah 🌸