She gasped for breath on the surface of the water as her chest rose up and down vigorously. She held her foggy goggle on her forehead, letting her eyes set with a clearer vision on the dark purplish sky. The cloud was no more to be seen and at the side of the swimming pool, she could only listen to gushing of water as it flowed into the outlet, down the drain before getting reheated and flowed back into the pool. Cloudy, her vision.
"What a mess," she murmured under her breath as tears rolled down her red cheeks, feeling hot.
Once again after God knows how many times, she held her goggle back, covering her red puffy eyes while inhaling deeply at the same time. With closed eyes, she plunged herself underwater and started to release bubbles of air slowly bit by bit until her body remain static, not floating back to the surface. She remained underwater, with her eyes now wide open, in a cross-legged sitting position.
All she saw was a clear space around her and as she looked further, the shades become darker until she can't see anything. Clearly, no one else was in the swimming pool with her. For a moment, she enjoyed the solitude when no one can see and control what she do.
10 seconds passed, and she was still holding her breath tight. Seconds after, her lung felt squeezed and gasping for air but she remained in her position. This time, with her eyes shut.
In her mind, everything that happened above the water, in her life, continued playing like a fast-forwarded video. It kept replaying over and over again and that made her so angry. She hold her fist tight as her forehead puckered, her heart beat faster.
"Time's up," a voice in her head whispered and in less than a second, she pulled herself to the surface, gasping for oxygen she owed on her lung and muscles. Her heart was still beating fast and her face had turned totally pink and hot.
The feeling of suffocated, hot and oppressed that she felt at the moment was not something uncommon. They were pretty much similar to her life on land, she thought. Crazy how when you're living a life as a normal human being, doing whatever other people is doing and thinking, but the only difference is that you're feeling drowned but you can see other people breathing so perfectly.
She scoffed a small laughter.
"What a mess,"